“A” is for Alcoholism

Disclaimer: Although the subject is generally considered on the medical and social levels in other discussions, today I would like to base most of my remarks on a more personal level, although I will throw in a few statistics, the sources of which are listed below. On this personal level, please note that most of my statements are my own opinion – based on personal experience, and may contrast with what professionals might consider “proper” behavior.

According to an article at Examiner.com¹ more than 65% of United States households are affected by the problem of alcoholism. This is the official data, but the percentage is probably higher; many households or individuals do not report the existence of the problem because of the stigma connected alcoholism.

The discussion as to whether or not alcoholism – the addiction to alcohol – is a disease is a moot point: it debilitates the body’s immune system, is the cause of diseases such as cirrhosis of the liver, heart problems, brain damage, kidney failure and can (and often does) cause the death of the addict. According to cdc.gov² more than 15,990 deaths were caused by alcohol-related liver diseases and 25,692 other alcohol related diseases in 2010, in the US alone. Again, these are the official stats, but it is probable that the real count is much higher.

I have known both family members and dear friends who enter into the statistics. They were wonderful people and their lives and subsequent deaths from alcohol abuse has had a terrible effect on all those who held them dear. I’ve learned a few things from my experience with them, and I’d like to share these with you.

First, alcoholics don’t all react in the same way to their drinking, just like not all alcoholics imbibe in the same drinks. Some become maudlin, others become violent, others yet disappear completely, until they have worn off their “binge”. Others yet may not show any particular signs of having gone over the limit.

Daniel* would go on a super-binge of drinking beer and then completely disappear for a week at a time. He lost his job, worried his family and in the end died of a heart attack. He had tried to quit and had been successful for a few years, but then, in a moment of weakness, he “fell off the wagon”.

John* successfully stopped drinking when he discovered that if he didn’t, he would only have a few more months to live. He lived for another five years afterwards, without drinking another drop of alcohol.

Many professionals promote the idea of tough love as a means of helping loved ones overcome their addiction; I agree that up to a certain point this could help them realize that they have a problem: leaving them tangled up to sleep on the floor where they have fallen, or refuse to bail them out of the drunk tank could lead them to understand that they do, indeed, have a problem. The next step, however, that of “inviting” them to leave and not come back until they have stopped drinking is not, for the most part, going to work.

Peter* found himself in this latter category. He was told to leave, and not come back until he discovered he loved his wife enough to stop. When he did stop, he would be allowed to go back. The problem was, although he loved his wife very much, he was unable to stop drinking on his own. He wanted to, but by then the choice was no longer his; the alcohol made the choice. In fact, instead of helping him stop, the eviction only made him drink more, until the day came that only a timely phone call from a friend kept him from “taking the bridge”.

If you have a loved one going through alcohol addiction, help them by pushing them to get help and support them in their efforts when they do. Alcohol withdrawal is neither easy nor pretty; not all survive the physical pain of withdrawal: approximately 25% patients will die during D.T.³ If you need to, apply non-violent tough love, but most of all, don’t threaten with eviction. The only lasting effect it will have is to increase the need to drink and also to decrease self-respect and esteem. It hurts, but it can be done, with help.

*Names have been changed 

Sources:

1. Examiner.com
2. Alcohol Use
3. Alcohol withdrawal, pg. 62

© 2014 Mary Purpari

August 2, 1980: Lest We forget

“The memory of that massacre is engraved upon the Nation’s conscience.” (Giorgio Napolitano, President of the Italian Republic, 2 August 2011).

That Saturday morning, August 2, 1980, at 10:25 a.m. my husband and I, together with a few friends, had just begun to give our apartment a much-needed paint job. Just as Nino began to put the roller into the paint, we heard a huge rumble and the whole apartment began to shake. An earthquake, we thought. No way. Not here in Bologna. There had been no damage, so we just continued painting until my sister-in-law called asking us to go pick her husband up at the hospital.

We were more than a little surprised, as Vito was scheduled for surgery that morning and should already have been in the operating room, but when his wife told us that there had been an explosion at the train station, and that the operation had been cancelled at the last minute – every room available in every hospital in Bologna was needed for the injured – we finally understood the explosion.

Bologna, perhaps the most organized city in Italy, was in utter chaos. A 25 kilogram bomb, composed of TNT, C4 and nitro gelatin as a stabilizer, had been left on a small table in the second class waiting room at the station, timed to go off at 10:25 a.m., the precise time that the Ancona – Chiasso train pulled into the station on track 1.

Because of its central position, Bologna is a major stop, connecting Northern Italy to the southern part of the country. Add to this the fact that Italy’s tourist season was in full swing and it’s easy to understand why the station was jam-packed. That day, the station was left in rubble, eighty-five people were killed and two-hundred were more or less seriously injured. Some of the injured later died of their wounds.

And then, a sort of miracle took place: Bologna reorganized itself. There weren’t enough emergency vehicles to take the injured to the city’s various hospitals, so taxi drivers and bus drivers began taking helpless passengers. One bus in particular, number 37, was transformed into a giant ambulance where first aid was administered by health-care personnel; all doctors and nurses who were on vacation promptly returned home upon learning of the tragedy. Hospital wards that had been closed down were reopened to accommodate the large numbers of victims.

Travelers who were in the station at the time of the explosion stayed to help aid in searching for possible victims still under the rubble that was once a beautiful station. Bolognese residents shared their homes with the victims’ families, and visited those who were alone in the hospitals.

That afternoon, Italy’s President of the Republic, Sandro Pertini, arrived in the grief-stricken city; with tears running down his face, he addressed the public, “I’m speechless. We’re facing the most criminal action that has ever been undertaken in Italy.” Four days later, on August 6, he participated in the funerals of the victims of the massacre.

On August 26, 1980, warrants and the ensuing arrest of members of the Militants of the Italian Extreme Right-Wing were carried out. Among the arrested were Roberto Fiore, Massimo Morsello, Gabriele Adinolfi, Francesca Mambro, Valerio Fioravanti, Roberto Rinani, Massimiliano Facchini, Paolo Signorelli and Aldo Semerari, who was assassinated on October 1, 1982.

Bologna has not forgotten its citizens and visitors who remained victims of this senseless attack on innocents, Italians and strangers alike. Today, August 2, 2011, the city once again celebrated its annual commemoration, not only of its pain, but also of the courage and solidarity extended. I, too, remember the pain and sorrow, followed by hope and caring, and extend my love to the Bolognese, my friends and brothers and sisters. May we never forget.